Hey Jeff, I didn't read your post until now but I think I KIND of demonstrated what you were saying. Still a work in progress but I like where it's going.
My favourite part is still the 'step forward' part, awesome. It's looking good, but a few things you could consider.
Firstly, at "Abe your car, it's rolling". Like I mentioned in the other post, you could make this pose 'smaller', especially it being the very first pose. If you listen to the the tension in her voice, it will build up from beginning to end, so this one will be the first tension. She doesn't have to lean so far towards Abe. She could even be almost upright to start. You could have her elbows tucked in, her right hand up, wrist bent back, like a girly gesture. Her pointing hand will still be pointing, but with the elbow tucked. This way, she's go from small movements to large and wide-spanning movements. Anyway this is what I think will make it more interesting. Also, be careful not to overact it. Seems like you're going for more realistic movement, not snappy cartoony stuff, so really try to act out the dialogue to see if you can natuarally move that way. You seem to be fine though.
Second one is "really slowly". His body shouldn't be pushed back every time he gestures there.
Third is "and grab the handle". The one hand that goes up doesn't seem to follow the rhythm of the dialogue, if I could call it that. At "step forward", both hands are down. I would keep his left hand there, with his right hand, until she says "grab". Right at "grab", is when the hand would start making its way UP, reach its uppermost position at "the", and hit the last position at "handle". I can't really say why it's right, but it's one of those things I 'feel' works better. As it is, that part's flow doesn't seem smooth, it feels interrupted, which brings me (the viewer), out of the performance, and of course you don't want that.
Keep at it! Yea and I know I mention a lot of stuff, don't feel pressured to do everything I say, you're the artist, you decide what you think is right. I'm not always right, and a lot of what I think has to do with my own personal taste in animation. :) I just hope I can get you thinking, and perhaps new ideas would sprout from my mumblings! (mumbling?)
My favourite part is still the 'step forward' part, awesome. It's looking good, but a few things you could consider.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, at "Abe your car, it's rolling". Like I mentioned in the other post, you could make this pose 'smaller', especially it being the very first pose. If you listen to the the tension in her voice, it will build up from beginning to end, so this one will be the first tension. She doesn't have to lean so far towards Abe. She could even be almost upright to start. You could have her elbows tucked in, her right hand up, wrist bent back, like a girly gesture. Her pointing hand will still be pointing, but with the elbow tucked. This way, she's go from small movements to large and wide-spanning movements. Anyway this is what I think will make it more interesting. Also, be careful not to overact it. Seems like you're going for more realistic movement, not snappy cartoony stuff, so really try to act out the dialogue to see if you can natuarally move that way. You seem to be fine though.
Second one is "really slowly". His body shouldn't be pushed back every time he gestures there.
Third is "and grab the handle". The one hand that goes up doesn't seem to follow the rhythm of the dialogue, if I could call it that. At "step forward", both hands are down. I would keep his left hand there, with his right hand, until she says "grab". Right at "grab", is when the hand would start making its way UP, reach its uppermost position at "the", and hit the last position at "handle". I can't really say why it's right, but it's one of those things I 'feel' works better. As it is, that part's flow doesn't seem smooth, it feels interrupted, which brings me (the viewer), out of the performance, and of course you don't want that.
Keep at it! Yea and I know I mention a lot of stuff, don't feel pressured to do everything I say, you're the artist, you decide what you think is right. I'm not always right, and a lot of what I think has to do with my own personal taste in animation. :)
I just hope I can get you thinking, and perhaps new ideas would sprout from my mumblings! (mumbling?)